The police don't consult amateurs.

.

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 00:52:32 -0400

Officially not a date

Sun, 15 Apr 2012 00:51:07 -0400

Jean almost toppled out of the cab in her rush to get to her not-really-a-date date. She probably shouldn’t have picked a tearoom so far from her shitty flat, but then it was the only place that stocked all of her favorites. She hobbled along quickly, having decided to forgo her cane today in favor of a slightly worse-looking limp. She knew she probably wouldn’t fall over and willed herself to walk as normally as the sharp pain shooting up her thigh would allow.

She entered the shop exactly five minutes later than she would have preferred. Jean tried her hardest to look like she was exactly on time, if not a little early. She shrugged her jacket and looked around the shop to see if Sherlock was there.

Sherlock watched the scene unfold from her seat near the tearoom’s window. She watched the limping woman exiting the cab with growing curiosity. Sherlock assumed the woman was Doctor Jean Watson due to her limp (ex-military, has pension so most likely received an injury from the war if not multiple). It also helped that Sherlock had spent a short amount of time looking through her blog. No one had ever willingly spent time with her or had a not-quite-a-date date on their own accord, hence she had to make sure this wasn’t a trick or anything of the like.

After the other woman had entered the shop and removed her jacket, Sherlock signaled to her with a wave.

I FOUND YOU MS NEW BOOTY

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 21:28:47 -0400

oooyooo: -You should do male Adler to match the female...

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 21:26:46 -0400

oooyooo:

-You should do male Adler to match the female Sherlock, John and Moriarty

Stop this nonsense, Mr. Adler. And you must not get away from reality, Ms. Watson.

whats your milkshake status?

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 22:43:42 -0400

They’re bringing all the boys to the yard.

docwatson-isin: notanamateur: How unlucky. Equal conversations can be so boring, though. I know...

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 22:36:32 -0400

docwatson-isin:

notanamateur:

How unlucky. Equal conversations can be so boring, though.
I know there are some who can dupe science, as you say. It makes for quite amusing cases to be honest. Amusement for me, of course. Typically others don’t find puzzling murders as entertaining as I do.

I’ll honor your request to not speak of it then.

It’s very saddening indeed. We all know intellectual people could better themselves by being in my company. Perhaps. Patience isn’t exactly a strong point with many people I converse with.

Isn’t that how people usually ask each other on dates? Asking them to drinks? Nevertheless if you still want to go on ‘platonic outing for tea’, I’ll accept regardless of any attraction towards myself.

Sometimes, I suppose. It really does depend on the topic.

As I said, that’s disturbing. Here’s a good question for you, has there ever been a case you couldn’t solve?

Thanks for that.

I’ve a feeling your mind works in a very different way than most people’s. It’s a good thing that I have plenty of patience to spare, since I’d hate to make an enemy sooner than a friend.

It’s my understanding that there are different means of getting someone’s attention. First dates are typically at pubs or restaurants, not tea houses… Do you… Not like tea?

Attraction? Well considering that I haven’t physically met you yet let’s leave that up for open debate. As it stands I suppose, since you’re harping on me for ‘asking you out’ I should let you know that I am not looking for a romantic relationship. :)

You know you’re very good at turning a simple request for company into an awkward situation.

Not exactly, most any topic can be turned into an interesting one-sided conversation in my opinion.

A case I couldn’t solve? Ridiculous. I can solve any case given to me, but I do choose to not accept certain ones.

You’d be correct on that assumption. I’m not a psychopath, for the record. Sociopath. I’m not exactly keen on making more enemies either. Too boring, unnecessary, etcetera.

Pardon me, then. I’m not exactly an expert in this field to be honest. Tea houses seem like an excellent idea for a date, though. Also I have nothing against tea at all, it’s a wonderful beverage.

You can be attracted to someone without meeting them. Congratulations on your decision to not have a romantic relationship at the moment.

People say that often, actually.

docwatson-isin: I would, but unfortunately I did not attend veterinary school. It would be more...

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 22:03:20 -0400

docwatson-isin:

I would, but unfortunately I did not attend veterinary school. It would be more lecture on your part than an equal conversation.

I’ve not heard of anyone who could dupe science, but I’m sure there are some people who’ve figured it out… Which sounds a bit disturbing, actually.

Oh, well I am ex-military. I’d really rather not talk about it.

It’s a pity, that. I get the feeling you aggravate the broad spectrum of intellectual people. I must have more patience, since you don’t seem very aggravating.

Great. There’s a nice place east London that serves rather good tea. I’ve been meaning to go there and buy some.

Wait.

Are you thinking that I’d just… Asked you on a date? I mean, whatever you are it’s fine. Really. But I just meant casually. As in ‘it would be nice to meet up and have a friendly chat’ sort of deal, not the ‘it would be nice to go out with you’ fashion. I’m sure you’re lovely, but really. This is just a completely platonic… outing. For tea.

How unlucky. Equal conversations can be so boring, though.

I know there are some who can dupe science, as you say. It makes for quite amusing cases to be honest. Amusement for me, of course. Typically others don’t find puzzling murders as entertaining as I do.

I’ll honor your request to not speak of it then.

It’s very saddening indeed. We all know intellectual people could better themselves by being in my company. Perhaps. Patience isn’t exactly a strong point with many people I converse with.

Isn’t that how people usually ask each other on dates? Asking them to drinks? Nevertheless if you still want to go on ‘platonic outing for tea’, I’ll accept regardless of any attraction towards myself.

docwatson-isin: Oh. Aren’t there more interesting things to argue about though? Well, people are...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 22:48:00 -0400

docwatson-isin:

Oh. Aren’t there more interesting things to argue about though?

Well, people are rather unwilling to label anything as the work of a serial killer. I think the forensic system is typically enough to catch small time crooks with DNA evidence. A freelance consulting detective? Do you uh, usually not find money to be a concern?

Sorry if that was a bit intrusive, I just can’t imagine you make much more than I do at this point, and I’m on a pension.

‘Stop deducing me’? That’s hilarious. Most people couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag. They were probably just embarrassed because you’re smarter than they were. People tend to get defensive when you insult their intelligence.

You wouldn’t by any chance… Want to go and grab a drink sometime would you? With me I mean. Just casually.

I normally wouldn’t ask but you seem rather interesting. Assuming you live in London, of course.

We could argue instead about the rate of deterioration of a small horse’s body, if you would prefer that. I needed another opinion on it, for a case.

I agree completely. However, the forensic system is not always enough to catch the criminals and solve the cases that I must deal with. Money is not ever really an issue for myself, no. You could say I have different means of paying for things.

I’m not offended at all. A pension? Interesting.

They seem to find it less humorous. Taking into consideration the people I am forced to deal with, they’re usually incredibly aggrieved by their inferior intellect.

Grab a drink? I wouldn’t mind, to be honest. Though I feel, Dr. Watson, that you should be informed that I am unavailable in other ways. Meaning that I am married to my work.

docwatson-isin: notanamateur: docwatson-isin: I would. That’s generally the definition of...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 20:16:19 -0400

docwatson-isin:

notanamateur:

docwatson-isin:

I would. That’s generally the definition of ‘clever’, you know. Someone skilled at doing or achieving something? Someone talented.
Well then I’m sure you’re a boon to their work.

Sherlock Holmes? Never heard of you, even with an attitude like that.

I simply wouldn’t call it clever. I believe ‘savvy’ works better in this situation, though your mileage may vary.

Of course I am. With a lot of incompetent persons acting as detectives, they need all the help they can get.

I must say I’m not surprised. An “attitude like this” doesn’t earn me much popularity, you’ll imagine.

Why don’t we agree that both words are appropriate in this situation? I’d hate to seem like I’m arguing with you.

You must have an awful lot of work to do then. Are you freelance or commission?

Well, I’d still wager you’d cause quite a stir if the media ever got wind of you… Has anyone ever told you that you’re particularly entertaining to talk to?

I’d prefer to argue, although we can agree to disagree if you’d rather.

Sadly not as much as I’d like. Not too many people focusing on complex homicides these days. You could describe me as freelance however, money is really no real concern of mine.

The media would cause a stir regardless, it’s what they do best. No, not exactly. Usually when I converse with people they say things such as “Piss off!” and “Stop deducing me.”

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 18:34:11 -0400

docwatson-isin: notanamateur: docwatson-isin: You must be clever indeed, to have invented such a...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 18:32:03 -0400

docwatson-isin:

notanamateur:

docwatson-isin:

You must be clever indeed, to have invented such a thing!

I am going to have to agree there. It seems as if they never catch their man on time, but then I don’t usually follow the news.

I’m Jean, by the way. Dr. Jean Watson.

I wouldn’t call it ‘clever’, exactly.

They wouldn’t catch their man if they didn’t have me. As it is they can barely put their trousers on correctly in the morning, much less catch a murderer.

The name is Sherlock Holmes. It’s a pleasure, I’m sure.

I would. That’s generally the definition of ‘clever’, you know. Someone skilled at doing or achieving something? Someone talented.

Well then I’m sure you’re a boon to their work.

Sherlock Holmes? Never heard of you, even with an attitude like that.

I simply wouldn’t call it clever. I belive ‘savvy’ works better in this situation, though your mileage may vary.

Of course I am. With a lot of incompetent persons acting as detectives, they need all the help they can get.

I must say I’m not surprised. An “attitude like this” doesn’t earns me much popularity, you’ll imagine.

docwatson-isin: You must be clever indeed, to have invented such a thing! I am going to have to...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 02:16:37 -0400

docwatson-isin:

You must be clever indeed, to have invented such a thing!

I am going to have to agree there. It seems as if they never catch their man on time, but then I don’t usually follow the news.

I’m Jean, by the way. Dr. Jean Watson.

I wouldn’t call it ‘clever’, exactly.

They wouldn’t catch their man if they didn’t have me. As it is they can barely put their trousers on correctly in the morning, much less catch a murderer.

The name is Sherlock Holmes. It’s a pleasure, I’m sure.

qurl u have a nice bootyhole

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 02:06:15 -0400

Pardon.

docwatson-isin: notanamateur: docwatson-isin: notanamateur: docwatson-isin replied to your post:...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 02:01:07 -0400

docwatson-isin:

notanamateur:

docwatson-isin:

notanamateur:

docwatson-isin replied to your post: WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Fascinating.

Absolutely. Nothing better than a nice complex murder when one is in low spirits.

Personally I’ve always liked suturing wounds. It’s oddly cathartic, but I don’t suggest you try it unless you’re a doctor.

Are you one for reading about complex murders or do you study crime…?

I have no personal experience in suturing wounds, but I shall take your word for it.

I’m a consulting detective, only one in the world. Invented the job myself.

Well I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of a job like that. I thought the police didn’t go to consultants?

Of course not, I invented it. The police go to consultants when they are out of their depth, which is always.

docwatson-isin: notanamateur: docwatson-isin replied to your post: WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 00:43:42 -0400

docwatson-isin:

notanamateur:

docwatson-isin replied to your post: WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Fascinating.

Absolutely. Nothing better than a nice complex murder when one is in low spirits.

Personally I’ve always liked suturing wounds. It’s oddly cathartic, but I don’t suggest you try it unless you’re a doctor.

Are you one for reading about complex murders or do you study crime…?

I have no personal experience in suturing wounds, but I shall take your word for it.

I’m a consulting detective, only one in the world. Invented the job myself.

docwatson-isin replied to your post: WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 00:32:55 -0400

docwatson-isin replied to your post: WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Fascinating.

Absolutely. Nothing better than a nice complex murder when one is in low spirits.

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD?

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 00:18:11 -0400

Murders.